I Take Myself on the Best Dates

I'm not here because of him.

He didn't introduce me to this band, even if I first saw them because of him.

It's taken me this long to admit that he isn't a monster - he's just a run-of-the-mill douchebag. At worst a sociopath, but most likely just a lying, manipulative narcissistic jerk. Selfish. Self-centered. But not a demon - that would make him inhuman, and he is definitely vulnerable, just like the rest of us.

I'm here at this place, with this band, for me. Maybe I'm here to relive an experience and change the ending for myself, take back the night and the subsequent three months, and reclaim time that was lost to me when I was blinded by some "misunderstood" guy who is really just an asshole.

I feel powerful, here on the lawn by myself with my beer, my car cleverly parked on the street, my independence reclaimed and nurtured, and I suddenly remember who I am.

I'm the girl who conquered New York City, the woman who moved and started over again and again, the traveler who immersed herself in Italy and will return to do the same. I am the force to be reckoned with should it ever come to a fight for survival.

This is just a concert, and it's nice to spend a little time to myself.

If I can do this, I can do anything.