Planes, Trains, and Cars

I leave the courthouse barely able to contain my elation and relief. I am finally free - of the fear of not knowing, of the stress of waiting for something to happen, and of my car. After nearly two decades behind the wheel, I have just been relieved of my license.

E has asked me several times how I'm handling this so calmly - we're both from the country, where driving is a way of life - but this doesn't scare me. I know my life will be more complicated, my time will be compromised, and I will be frustrated and humbled, but I've been here before.

When I was 17 the timing belt blew on my car, and for months I hitchhiked daily from Bozeman to Big Sky. The following year my next car gave up right before I moved to NYC, where I relied on the subway for nearly a decade. At 27 I moved to New Jersey and played trains, planes, and cars for four years, cycling to the bar, and hoofing groceries for miles. No one plans for contingency quite like I do.

While I waited for this day I mapped bike trips and priced bus tickets and planned transit routes. I prepared myself for today, and tomorrow, and three, four, seven months from now, because sometimes things happen in this life. Sometimes people fuck up, and that's a part of it. I walk down the courthouse steps, take a deep breath, and smile into the sunshine. Another day, another chapter.