Body Love

Part of my summer hours involve modeling for pre-college workshops of various ages. I have just finished getting dressed after a sitting for a group of high school students, when three teenage girls from the class walk into the bathroom. They thank me, and the girl in front blurts out, "You're so comfortable with your body!" Their words trip over each other as they confess their ease at drawing me "because you're so comfortable with yourself". 

These are beautiful girls, all three. They are gangly and awkward only in that they are teenagers, in a phase when their bodies are rushing to catch up with their minds, and their emotions are scrambling to understand it all. I was one of them once, sixteen and hating my body, feeling uncomfortable and unsure. High school is a torturous time to be forced into coexistence with other people your own age, each of you trying to figure out who you are and how you want to move through the world. 

Later I get to thinking about how they might feel to know that I am dieting. Would it destroy their belief that I love my body?

I remember when Jennifer Hudson was a big girl and loudly proclaimed to the world how much she loved her body and how comfortable she was in her own skin. Then she joined Weight Watchers and became a completely different shape, and is now the spokeswoman for the weight-loss company. I was less than thrilled, and I'm sure there were other women who felt the same way. It's not that I don't support her weight loss. It's her overnight transformation after being so adamant in the public eye that she was okay with who she is felt like a bait and switch. To me it sent a message to young girls everywhere that it's okay to be a big girl, but better to be a small girl.

I don't want to send that message. The first thing I have always said about my body is that it is not perfect -- and I'm okay with that. There are parts of it that I love, and parts of it that could use some work. It was the parts that need work that caused me to start diligently (and sometimes not so diligently) counting calories, but it's my overall health and well-being that keeps me at it. Fried food and alcohol are not going to keep me lithe enough to model into old age, and I intend to be sitting nude in front of artists well into my golden years.

I will never forget those girls in the bathroom and their discovery that a woman doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful. It was my privilege to offer them a rare and valuable lesson on positive body image and self-love, and I want to make absolutely sure they know that I count calories because I want to have more energy and a healthier temple, not because I hate my body.

And to anyone fuming at my Jennifer Hudson reference, remember that I still love her. I just wish she had said up front that she had some things she wanted to work on.